Sep. 30: Reading Your Way Through Writer's Block

In today's meditation the author talked about reading when you have writer's block. Basically the idea is to get a different perspective. I think this would indeed help me. Maybe more so if I was not reading two or three books at one time. Right now I read a chapter a week for my book club, a chapter a week of Debbie Macomber's non-fiction book that I have another blog going on. Then I am also reading "The Hole in Our Gospel", "Before and After: Living and Eating Well After Weight-Loss Surgery", a Debbie Macomber fiction on Wyoming Brides. So sometimes things can get pretty jumbled up in my head. But sometimes I do keep things straight because I read for so many different reasons. Some reading I do is educational, some recreational, some for self-improvement, some for spiritual renewal. Well by now I'm sure you get the idea. The sad part of this is at times things I'm suppose to be reading (like my lesson for tomorrow's Bible Study) don't get done because I'm reading all these other things.
For today's "Try This" Mr. White says to work in three reading breaks during my next writing regimen (don't think I have one). If I don't experience a block then take the breaks after reaching a certain kind of closure, i.e. finishing a chapter, or a dramatic incident. He also suggests that you select your reading from a differnt genre each time. Then take notes on how much time you spend reading, what you've read, and how (if at all) it has helped you to gain fresh impetus on your work in progress when you return to it.
Not really certain I will follow through with this section right now. Maybe the next time I'm faced with writer's block I may try it.

Sep. 29: Metaphors

Today's topic is about how metaphors help us to understand abstract ideas by connecting them to things that are familiar to us. Mr. White's examples are sound or light moving through space to waves of water; or the movement of a flag to the action of a whip. He states that "Metaphors are among a writer's most versatile stylistic devices." He also quotes two other authors stating that "metaphors lie at the heart of our thinking and reveal much about our conceptualizing processes."
The "Try This" section today is to maintain an inventory of the different types of metaphors that you and other family members use. Again this will be something that gets added to that little composition book of mine along with the dreams I am recording when I can in the morning.

Sep. 28: Wit

Well once again did not get to this yesterday. After my epidural came home and went to bed. By the time I got up there was just to many things to attend to, plus my brain cells were still effected by whatever it is that the doctor uses to knock me out. Wit is something that is not always easy for me. It tends to come acrossed as sarcastic. In the try this section is to either compose a letter in which you combine intelligence with a lively, animated style; or write a profile of a character possessed of great wit (intelligence + cleverness + animated personality). That is the idea for my character of Ginny in the story I'm working on which is currently called Emma's story. She is to be a middle-aged sophisicated career woman who is happy in her life after years of struggle. She meets Emma at an AA meeting (Emma's first). Ginny has several years (15+) of sobriety. It will be her sophisication and wit that ultimately win Emma over and also help her and Emma get through some trying times.
That's what I would like to be able to write. Not the profile but the actual witty remarks that demonstrate the profile in the story. This is something that I struggle with.

Sep. 27: "Once Upon A Time"

In today's meditation the author discusses how these four words take our minds from the reality to the magic of imagination. How they transport us into another world, an imaginary one. The assignment for today is to write a journal entry in which I extend the possibility of conventional reality. I am to begin my entry by answering the question, "What would my life be like if I could read people's thoughts?" or, "If a genie gave me the power to perform one miracle, what miracle would I choose, and how would I put it to use?"
So here goes:
What would my life be like if I could read people's thoughts? I am not certain this is a talent that I would really wish for. At work, yes I would be able to determine just how truthful my clients were being about whether they really wanted to be sober. However, I would also know all their criticism of me. I would also know just wht my co-workers were thinking which again at times would be better off not known. My feelings would not be hurt by someone else's criticism, put downs, or other negative thoughts.
It would also not be something I am dying to hear from friends and others. You know the hidden thoughts like "what was she thinking when she put that on", "can she gain any more weight', "she is so uncouth", etc. Yes, at times it might be educating to find out what people really think of you but I think most of us, if we thought about it for awhile, would rather remain in ignorance. It is easier to take and often less hurtful. It would also be rather hurtful to learn through their thoughts that they really were not thinking of you, or about you as often as you thouht they were.
I know that there have been any number of times when I was glad someone did not know what I was thinking. This is true of even my dear sweet hubby. More times than I care to remember my thoughts have been angry, bitter, resentful, and just down right mean-spirited. Since I am not a very unique person, if my thoughts are such, then so would other's thoughts. I am so grateful that other people can not read my thoughts and therefore will remain grateful I can't read their's either.

Sep. 26: Writing As An Expression of Faith

I really enjoyed today's meditation but had to read it through a couple of time to really grasp what the author was saying. When I thought about his opening sentence though it began to make a little sense. He started out by stating that artists (and writers) are explorers of the inner universe. It is this inner universe he says is "the one in which the human drama is played out." He also states that he thinks all writers are engaged in expressions of faith in everything they write.
In the section "For Further Reflection", Mr. White touches on the fact that it is language that people use to define their species, "that words are windows to the truth about ourselves and the universe." For me expressing words in thought, writing, or speaking do allow others to begin to understand some truths about me. It is also through word that I learn about others.
Today's "Try This"section is to write an essage that reflects on the truth of the claim that language does not capture the reality of the world outside ourselves but rather thought-constructs of that reality. I am going to have to think about that one for awhile. I agree to a degree but not totally and also need to ponder on this for awhile before I can actually write on it.
To digress a bit to yesterday's assignment. I recorded my dreams upon waking this morning.

Sep. 25: Fashioning Dreamscapes

Today's meditation is about dreams. Mr. White says that "Sigmund Freud may have been the first person to demonstrate from a scientific perspective the importance of dreams in one's life as well as in society generally, but dreams have always played a significant role in human history." He also states that as writers we can tap into our dreams and also we can also made up dreamscapes for our stories. He then gives and example from T. S. Eliot's The Waste Land, in describing the Unreal City.
The "For Futher Discussion" section talks about the profound influence of dreams on modern art and literature. Therefore we need to pay close attention to our dreams and the role they play in our psychic lives.
Today's "Try This" assignment is to record your dreams for the next couple of weeks to convert our dream images into words. Then later use these images to convert them into coherent stories.
I have for years remembered on awakening my dreams and I used to write them down in a journal but stopped. I have some very realistic dreams and then at times they are peopled by realistic people but in bizarre situations. This happened the other night when a dream was peopled by people I work with but the setting was not related at all to work. I have also dreamed about people from my past but again as if they were still in my life or if my life still occurred in those long ago settings. Guess I'll take one of the composition notebooks not currently being used and place it in the bathroom to jot down my dreams everytime I wake up. Always head straight for the bathroom on awakening.

Sep 23: "Know Thyself"

Today's meditation is on the subject of knowing yourself and how self-knowledge is of importance to a writer. The author says that having better self-knowledge should be a part of every writers' mission statement. In the section For Further Reflection he makes the comment that "Psychologists point out that merely acknowledging an impulse is a major step toward controlling it." This is something that I try to teach my clients that in order to change behavior we first have to acknowledge the impulse and then do something different with that impulse than we have been doing. Because of more than two decades in a 12-step recovery program I have had a chance to do some serious "soul searching" and because of my academic training for my current career plus continued additional training to keep my license and certification in learning about the workings of the human mind; I think I have more self-knowledge than most. Of course, my age is also a factor in having more self-knowledge. Once you pass the half century mark you tend to reflect on your life and it's lessons. Therefore, the "Try This" section takes some thinking time.

"THINGS I DON'T KNOW, OR KNOW VERY LITTLE, ABOUT MYSELF

This is another difficult assignment because I know myself pretty well. Using Fred White's questions I do know how I would perform in a stage play (very well as long as I did not have a lot of lines to memorized or have to sing). I have decided not to participate in an activity because I had no idea if I could hand the task. This is particularly true when it comes to volunteering to take part in a mission trip. However, that is really do to physical limitations, another gift of age. Usually though if something appears interesting to me I will attempt it at least once. I am aware of why I do, or do not attempt some things. I am also aware of why I think the way I do, why I act the way I do, of how I view the world. In fact right now I am having a very difficult time of thinking of any thing I don't know, or know very little, about myself. Some of what I know makes me feel good about myself; i.e. my loving, caring, and empathitic nature; my work ethic; my intuitive nature; my values; my political views; that I have my own beliefs and values and am not easily swayed by others. Other things I don't feel good about but am attempting with help to change. Somethings about myself that I have changed with help I also feel good about, but the desire to change came about because I got tired of making amends to people I did not really like in the first place. Another bit of information I have learned about myself is that I usually do not change a behavior unless I am sufficiently uncomfortable with the repeated consequences.

Over the years somethings that I have learned about myself have not been the easiest thing to swallow or admit. However, without acknowledging them I would not have been able to change them. It is a great comfort to realize that I can change the things I recognize are not traits that I want to continue exhibiting. Another benefit of a 12-step spiritual journey is that you do so much soul-searching and changing that ultimately the idea of change no longer is a frightening thing; it may just not be something you are willing to invest the time and effort into changing. Unfortunately, another truth I have learned about myself through years of soul-searching is that I can be stubborn and lazy about certain things, and so far have not had sufficient consequences to want to change these things about myself. I say "so far" because I know that I can change at any time. I may even realize tomorrow that there is a whole bunch of things about myself that I did not know. Since, to quote an old adage, more will always be revealed.

Sep 22: Twists and Turns

Today's meditation is about the roller-coaster ride of an exciting story; how readers like to have unpredictable twists and turns in the story, not just in the ending. Fred White's example for today's meditation is Dorothy's journey in the Wizard of Oz. He states that this story would be much less enjoyable if Dorothy had not met such interesting characters on her journey which ultimately leads to the climactic revelations regarding the Wizard. The writing assignment is to outline a story in your journal that gives special attention to twists and turns-to unexpected disclosures or incidents. He even encourages the writer to err on the side of excess. Again I don't have time now but the story of Paulette and Ginny is one that I have already begun to outline several twists and turns into their blossoming friendship which will begin now that Ginny has taken the initiative to cross the hall and introduce herself to the woman who is always sitting in the window, watching.

Sep. 21: Reflections on Intuition

White writes in this meditation about how all artists need intuition and writers are no exception. In "For Further Reflection" he states that when we get to close to a problem or concept intuition can help us view it in a more holistic fashion and get past the trees in order to see the forest. Intuition helps us exercise our creative thinking. The "Try This" assignment is to (1) compose a poem in which you make at least one intuitive leap from particular to the general using the example he gave by Coleridge. (2) Prepare a profile of a character who has powerful intuitive skills, and pit him against a character who lacks such skills. I don't have time to work on it now but I think later will take what I currently call "Emma's Story" and make Emma (the newly sober alcoholic woman) as the one who lacks intuitive skills and pit her against the older (in both years and sobriety) woman who through her recovery has gained intuitive skills. In part that is what the story is already about any way because this is one of the skills a recovering person gains through their recovery journey is intuition.

Sep. 20: Rekindling Enthusiasm

Today's meditation is about rekindling enthusiasm for a writing project for which you have lost that spirit of enthusiasm. Fred White gives some good suggestions for how to keep your enthusiasm going. The one I liked the most was to treat one's self to a chocolate sundae. The "Try This" segment did not have a writing assignment but did give three good suggestions of what to include in a what-to-do-in-case-of-discouragement plan. His suggestions are some common sense ideas that take time prior to writing that many of us do not take. It is sort of like reading the instructions that come with a "needs assembly" item you bought. All to often we start trying to put the thing together without first reading the instructions. Comedians claim this is a male failing but I think it is more a human failing because I know many women, self included, to tend to do this too. In order for writing to really work, particularly some larger project, it does take some planning prior to actually beginning the project. For me the preplanning that tends to not get enjoy attention is having a realistic timeline. I also need to have in my timeline the times that I will have sufficient time to fully develop the story. I now have in progress three stories of undetermined length plus a Bible study or several devotionals. However, I am currently so involved in making items for my two mission concerns that I do not have sufficient time to develop these further unless they just happen to fall within the framework of a Daily Writer assignment.

I also liked his idea of writing down a one-page explanation of your reasons for embarking on the project and why you think it's a worthy project. I not only think his reasons for doing this (reminding yourself of you original goals and reasons as you weather harsh criticism) are good but this would also help you keep your storyline following your original objectives. I sometimes find myself getting sucked down some rabbit hole that has nothing to do with the story I'm trying to tell. This makes the flow of the writing very disjointed.

Sep 19: Dangerous Keepsakes

Now on to today's meditation. The meditation today is about keepsakes and how some can rekindle happy memories and people we want to keep alive in our minds. But sometimes they can keep alive memories we would like to forget such an ended romance, a missed opportunity, a deep regret for a broken friendship. Mr. White then urges us to invite a relative or friend to share his/her memories that a particular keepsake bring to mind, these might even be emotionally charged memories that can lead to stories which in turn lead to other stories.
The further reflection states that objects that conjure up negative experiences and moods can be just as valuable to a writer as those that conjure up positive experiences and moods. As an example he uses the portrait of Dorian Grey.
The "try this" assignment is to make a list of keepsakes that generate complex associations for you and beside each write a sentence or two describing some of these associations. Then return to the list and use it to outline a short story or personal-experience essay.
In just the last few minutes I have come up with this list:
Three Imitation Stained Glass Double Panels that I purchased in the original Atlanta Underground in 1972.
The engaved silver cuff I wear almost daily which was the first gift from my husband.
A collection of brooches that I inherited from my mother.
My mother's wedding band that I now wear with my own.
A self- portrait photograph made in my apartment in Seoul Korea.
A small Garfield figurine that sits on my desk
A small stone box tht also sits on my desk.
Now I'm no exactly certain how I could use all of this to making it a short story but a personal-experience essay.
I. The three glass panels sit on a shelf in my apartment in Seoul Korea as symbol of a past life.
II. The self-portrait my new life in Seoul.
III. The silver cuff that leads leaving Seoul and starting a new life with my husband.
IV . The brooches and wedding band the loss of my parents.
V. The Garfield figurine and stone box my current life stage.
That is just a rough outline it would take more time than I have today to complete but again I'll put the outline in composition book and see what comes of it later.

Sep 18: Questions and Quests

Well, I had planned on doing this last night but by the time I got home my brain was too fried to think. Therefore, just worked on a scarf I am knitting. The stitch is so simple I can do it without even thinking. But now I need to get this done so I can move on to today's assignment. The problem is that the meditation is about how questions become a quest for knowledge. Mostly though it focuses on quests. Mr. White states that "writing is a quest". He sees writers as the archetypal heroes venturing apart from other to discover new truths. They then return to the fold to share what they have learned with others.
His "For Further Reflection" goes on to describe life as a "multiplicity of quests" and each writing project as a "new quest to uncover a new set of perplexitites about the human condition and to articulate them in sufficiently precise and powerful language."
The assignment is to begin a new story or poem but think of it as a quest to discover something important about people or about the state of the world. The work is to be divided in the archetypal stages of separation, initiation (or discovery) and return. Even today after a full night's sleep I am still at a loss as to how to start this without making it seem like a poor remake of some of the usual hero quest that are running around in my head as I reread this day's meditation. Maybe later I can work this out. Unfortunatelyl, I may not be able to share it here. Thankfully I have my little composition book that I begin such things in.

Sep. 17: On Silence

Today's meditation is about silence. That it is a sound that at times can actually be palpable. Fred White states that there are different kinds and degrees of silence. He lists a town at night, silence that follows a loud and steady sound, reverential silence one experiences in a church or mosque and then the total silence of say a cave or desert. However, I will disagree with the last the absolute silence of a desert. If you really listen a desert isn't silent because moving sand makes a sound, it is just not a loud sound, add wind and desert sands can actually speak to you. To me the most amazing silence I ever experienced was when I was living in Korea. One night there was an air raid drill. Once the sirens went off a city of ten million people went almost completely dark and silent except for the barking of dogs which you never heard above the noise of the city. It was the most amazing thing. I remember thinking that you probably could not get that kind of cooperation from the American people but then that was all pre-911. Now I am not so certain. Other kinds of silence that stand out in my mind. The silence you experience at night watching your child sleeping. The silence of a nighttime hospital waiting room, particularly if that waiting room is outside an ICU. The pregnant pause when you don't get the joke someone just told you. These are just a few of the quick types of silence that I reflected upon. Could probably come up with more but it's late in the week, I have a client due in my office in a few minutes, and my brain is literally fried from to much on my to-do list and not enough hours to do all those things.

Sep. 16: Using Strong Verbs

Well today's meditation is on the use of strong verbs instead of sluggish puny auxiliary verbs. Fred White believes that using strong verbs accomplishes three goals at once. These are improving clarity, enhancing readability, and injecting more energy into the writing. The try this segment is to pull out an old story or essay and scrutinize it for its use of verb phrases. Where you find predominately sluggish noun phrases revise they by turning them into verb phrases. Hopefully will get a chance to do that tonight. There are some other things I really need to be working on tonight. Like next lesson for Bible Study tomorrow morning and/or writing another article for Examiner.com. Plus what I really want to do is sit back watch the bloob tube and crochet. Not enough hours in the day. In fact, would not have had time for this blog except a cilent did not show for an individual session.

Sep. 15: Journal Writing and the Triumph of Individual Thought

In today's meditation Fred White shares the opening of 1984 which was about "individual rebellion in a society that strives to crush individualism". In For Further Reflection he states that "writing is a triumph of individuality, a celebration of our most precious asset: the freedom to think for ourselves and assert our views about any topic".
As someone who thinks of themself as a writer this reading to today was a reminder of another reason we Americans have such a previledged life. I am reminded of the Russian writers who were sent to slave labor camps is Siberia, German writers sent to concentration camps, and Chinese writers to were sent to detention centers or killed because they dared to write something against the established government/society. Yes some of the things we might write would not sale but we can still write them if we want too. In fact some with write some of the most absurd things and present them as fact when they are really just their beliefs about something. If you question this just look at all the various books, presented as fact, regarding what the author sees as a conspiracy.
The wonderful thing is that if there is no one that agrees with them their books go unpublished but if there are people who believe as they do their book will be published and have some sales. Sometimes the sales are not what the publisher had hoped, or the author, but regardless the author was allowed to publish his book. In today's world of on-line publishing any thing can be published at least on line.
Isn't it great to be an American living in a free world.

The Art of In-depth Research

Today the author, Fred White, talks about the really hard work of researching material. I agree with him that to be good a researcher must go further than internet, but that is a good starting point. For my examiner.com articles I like to start with the internet and then do personal interviews with some of the local individuals involved in that particular mission. Even articles that are more my personal opinion I use not only internet but other resources. My junior year in high school my father worked for Marie Sandoz's sister. Marie wrote many books based on the history of pioneer events that occurred in panhandle of Nebraska where I was born and raised. Her most widely known book was Cheyenne Autumn that was made into a movie. She also wrote a biography of her father Jules Sandoz. One of the things I remember was all the old magazines, books, even school textbooks that were stored in sheds through out the property. One day while painting one of those sheds I asked Carolyn (the sister) why she didn't just throw all that old stuff away. As a 16 year old I saw no reason to store a bunch of old magazines. She told me that she could not throw any of it away because her sister might need some of it for her writing. The only thing of any possible value to my young eyes was a large number of National Geographic magazines, and that was just because I loved readings about far away places.
There have been times since then that I have wished I had some of those old resources as I do genalogical research on my family who lived in the same area. Much of my information on my family have been gathered in particular from old newspaper clippings that people have saved and passed down. Then there are the old cenus records that have entailed hours of trying to read old microfilm on which they have been archieved.
I have saved a number of old pictures, newspaper clippings, copies of census records of my research into my own personal lineage but I can also use the same material as a resource for historically based fiction.

Sept. 13th: Bizarre Foods and Beverages

This meditation is about developing bizarre concoctions and foods and he gives some examples from Star Trek, Dune, and Harry Potter. I am not a sci-fi fan, nor am I much of a fan of fantasy. I have watched only a few fantasy movie and none of the books. Therefore the assignment for this day have been a real struggle and quiet truthfully I have not finished them as of today (Sep. 14).

Setting Up an E-Feedback Group

In today's meditation Mr. White talks about the importance of a feedback group and suggests setting up an e-mail feedback group. He also gives some instructions for how to make that sort of feedback group work. What rules those involved in the group should agree on. I would like to be able to do this but am not certain it will be possible.

Writing Assignment for 9/11/2009

Pioneer Woman’s Journal
June 15, 1889
I hope that Barry did not see the look on my face when he pulled up to our new home today. He had told me that he had built us a Soddy but I really had not understood what that mean. Back in Ohio all of the homes were made of wood. Barry had written that there was not enough trees on the prairie to built our home out of logs and the price of cut lumber was just beyond their means right now. It had never occurred to me that what he was talking about was that our house would be built of dirt and the root system of the prairie grasses. Even the roof was made of sod.
I guess it is not to bad he had white washed the inside in some way that made the walls look like they were not made of dirt. Barry had spent a little of the money they had received in wedding gifts to make four windows that had glass window panes. The windows did let in some much needed light. She had material in her hope chest that would make wonderful curtains. She looked around the place that would be her home. It was really just one large room with a curtain hung to divide the sleeping quarters, at the back of the house, from the rest of the house. There was a few pieces of homemade furniture.
She would adjust to this new form of house. She was so happy to finally be Mrs. Barry Kirkpatrick that nothing could really upset her happy mood. She had felt so lonely the year they had been apart while Barry came west and located and filed on their homestead. Then he had to plant their first crop and build the soddy before he could return to marry her and bring her to their new home. The train ride from her family’s home place in Ohio to Omaha had been an adventure. Then in Omaha he retrieved the team and wagon he had left at a stable. The drive to their homestead had taken three days and sleeping out on the prairie was fun, but a little uncomfortable.
I had a chance to sit for a short while before I would have to begin cooking supper. I thought about the family Barry had introduced me to earlier that day. They were the closest neighbors. The man had spoken with Barry and a slender quiet woman with washed out blonde hair gathered five small children around her simple cotton dress. I also noticed that she was obviously pregnant again. What struck me the most though were her eyes, they just seemed to stare off into space and were void of any expression of life or interest. I found those eyes very unsettling and yet I want to learn more about the woman.
I have to stop writing now as I must get supper.

July 4, 1889
What a wonderful time I have had today. In celebration of our country’s independence Barry did not work in the fields today and instead we had a picnic down by the river, actually it was not much in the way of a river. The Niobra river was wide but shallow. After our picnic we picked Buffalo berries and crab apples from the bushes and trees that grew along the riverbank. I’ll use these to make some jam. I’m glad that I had Barry pick up some pint jars along with the box of quart jars I had him pick up the last time he went to Gordon. Gordon is the largest town and the closest railroad station.
As we came home from our picnic Barry stopped by our neighbor’s place. Here there had been no picnic or holiday celebration. In fact, every thing looked the same as when they had stopped by back in June. The only thing that had changed was the woman’s stomach was much larger now and it appeared to my untrained eye that she was surely about to deliver that baby. The other five children still clung to her skirt and were just as dirty and wide-eyed as before. I again notice the strange vacant stare of the woman. There was also no welcoming invitation to come out of the sun into the cool confines of their Soddy. I had overlooked that lack of courtesy the last time we visited. I wished I had more time to visit with the woman. Maybe once I get the jam made I’ll ride over for a visit. Barry showed me how to hitch up the team but I much prefer the small mare saddle horse he has brought back a few weeks ago. He said that way I could help him move cattle (what few we had).

August 5, 1889
What a night. Shortly after dark while I was still finishing up the dishes our neighbor came pounding at the door asking if I would come and help his wife. He said that her time had come and she seemed to be having some problems. I was not really sure I could help. I told him that I really had not seen many babies born and would most likely be in the way but he was so insistent that I finally agreed. Barry saddle my horse and I followed the man to his house. Inside their Soddy things were not nearly as cozy as they were in my own little sod house but I assume that with the baby coming the woman most likely had not been able to keep it clean. The five children sat huddled at the crudely made table, all wide eyed and scared looking. The woman lay moaning on the bed behind the blankets that served as a divider. I tried to assist her as best I could but am afraid that I was really not much help. I was able to heat water and clean the baby off when it finally came. I also bathed her down before I placed the baby in her arms. She place the child to her breast almost like it was nothing and then they both drifted off to sleep. After a short while I picked the sleeping baby up and place it in it’s cradle beside the bed and quietly left. What was so very unsettling was that through the whole ordeal no one said anything except me. Even when I left the man did not say goodbye or even thank you. I had such an unsettling feeling as I left that house. I can’t quite put my finger on it but the place just has a forlorn, sadness about it.

November 5, 1889
I have not written for months now because I have been so busy with harvesting and canning the produce from my small vegetable garden. Then I helped Barry lay in some extra hay for the cattle for the winter. Then helped him harvest wheat. Men from several nearby dryland farms came to help and Barry went and helped them. But the real reason I am writing now is that I just need to get my thoughts down on paper so maybe they will quit running around in my head. Three days ago Barry came home with very disquieting news. He stated that the farm next door would likely be go back to the government because the man was leaving. When I asked about his wife and children Barry said that they were dead. He told me that the woman had killed all six of her children and then herself. He said that sometimes people just go crazy out here on the prairie land. The isolation and loneliness just got to some people. When he talked about this I thought of the woman’s strange eyes and wondered if that was an indication of how she felt. It has been very unsettling for me. I have sometimes felt so alone when Barry was away over night going to town or helping out another farmer. It scares me a little, wondering if I too might succumb to the loneliness of the prairies.

Empathy

Today's meditation is about writers, through their words, allowing their readers to experience empathy for the characters. Fred White states that "The capacity to empathize with others goes a long way. . . .The more you learn about a person, the more your capacity for empathizing will become." He further states that the author helps the reader begin to "pick up things between the lines" which then helps them intuitively know things about the person, or story that is not actually stated. He states that this ability can be learned but you have to be willing to share experiences which can at times be disturbing and painful. He also attributes this as a possible reason that "artists go off the deep end", they empathize too much. Therefore his guidance is to back away if you find yourself tapping too deeply into someone else's experiences.
This is something that I have to guard against in my professional work. I also have to determine if it is empathy or sympathy. I have to remember two very wise directions I was given early on which was to "remember whose problem it really is", and "never work harder than you client at their recovery".
Today's assignment is definately going to take more time than I have right now, so I am going to wait until I get home from work to work on it. The assignment is to write a series of journal entired that chronicles you efforts to empathize with other's emotional difficulties. In your entries, imagine yourself in that other person's shoes. This exercise will help you craete realistic characters in the future.

Trickster Figures

Today's meditation is about the trickster figures that authors use to add a sense of "lightheartedness and comic relief to stories." As I was reading this meditation I could not help but think of two characters. The first is Puck in Shakespeare's play Midsummer Night's Dream the trickster who creates havoc for the foursome of Shakespeare's characters. The second is the Native American tradition of seeing the coyote as a trickster. As I am writing this I also remember reading some of the Navaho mysteries that talked about Navaho traditions of having a trickster among their ritual Kachina characters/dolls. The trickster in Navaho traditions is always the one with black and white stripes.

Writing Assignment: Write a synopsis for a story that includes one of the following trickster figures: a god in disguise, a clown who sheds candid insights into situations perpetrated by the foolhardy but tyrannical king, or a con artist who attempts to use his guile to overthrow the monarchy.

I took a bit of license where because the main character is not really a tyrannical king but instead an insecure man. Plus I also pick up on a story line already started on Day #1.
Main character Christopher, a wealthy self-made man, grew up very poor on the wrong side of the tracks. He is insecure in his success because he can't leave behind his childhood insecurities. He returns home following the death of his father (see 9/7/09 post on dialogue) for the funeral and to help his mother and sister through all of the arrangements before and after the funeral. He runs into (literally) a rather klutzy, but beautiful woman who helps out in the funeral parlor with makeup, dressing the bodies, etc. She is not onlly beautiful and klutzy but also spontaneous, impish, and fun-loving. She helps him get through this stressful situation and also to loosen up. She turns out to be someone who sheds some candid insight (in a humorous way) into his inability to let go of childhood insecurities and trust his own success.

Mistakes

Today's meditation related to the fact that we all make mistakes whether as writers or as human belings. Also the second point was that we learn from our mistakes and this applies to our writing as well. This then progressed naturally into making revisions to the original draft. The author, Fred White states that "with large projects, it's easy to keep track of subplots, character descriptions and actions, and the like. One needs to set aside large chunks of time to check for such inconsistencies." Think this is a typo as it most likey should have read "it's not easy".
There is no real writing assignment for today just a suggestion that as you revise a draft to keep a list of the mistakes you catch. "Such itemization will help you idenitfy mistakes in future drafts".
Since there is not writing assignment I am going to take some time to say that it is through some of my biggest mistakes that I have grown into the person I am today. Begin able to admit that I am a flawed human being helps me not seek perfection in everything I do. It has also helped me, surprisingly, to not always seek the approval of others. Plus a number of my story plots come from my own life even though, as a line in an old crime show stated, "the names have been changed to protect the innocent". Or more aptly to keep everyone anonymous.

Handling Perspective

Today's meditation is about perspective and the authors' examples were that of Alfred Hitchcock in Vertigo and Stanley Kubrick in 2001: A Space Odyssey. For Futher Reflection states that description can capture the cinematic effects of perspective by calling attention to height, to distance, to the uncertainity that lies ahead, or above, or below. The writer, Mr. White, has the freedom to select any frame of reference, as the preferred point of view, and to shift it whenever he deems necessary.
Writing Exercises: Today there are two, (1) write a short-short stoey from the point of view of an onlooker, someone wh has an opportunity to observe the main characters closely without actually participating in their drama. (2) After completing the short-short story exercise in number one, retell the same story, only this time from the point of view of one of the principal characters.
Exercise 1:
Paulette sat at the window again. She sat at the same front window of her small one bedroom apartment in an ancient Georgetown brownstone every day. That's all she could do now was to spend her days sitting. In the daytime she sat in front of the window and watch the world go by, or at least the people who lived in, or visited this neighborhood. At night she sat and watched television. It was almost as if her world had ended that day twenty years ago when a car came careening around the corner and slammed into her driver-side door. She had been in the hospital a long time but that wasn't the worst part. She was now paralized from the waist down.

The settlement she received had been placed in a trust that provided her the necessary income to not have to worry about money but she was confined to her apartment. So she sat everyday and watched from the window as her neighbors went to work, as mothers took their children to school and then returned, as the neighborhood past before her window much like the characters on television. She did not really know any of them and yet she did. She knew the young career woman who lived across the hall. She was engaged and would likely be moving out once she got married, or maybe the couple planned on living here. The young couple who lived above the career woman who were expecting their first child. The middle-aged librarian who lived above her. Then there was the young man who looked like a beatnik, or musician, who lived in the basement apartment. Yes, she knew all about their lives even if she did not really know them.

Paulette however, had invented names for them and made up stories about them that she wrote in her journal. Maybe some day she would put them together into a book. At that thought she laughed at herself. She really could not see herself turning her journal into any kind of manuscript. That would require to much effort. Instead this was something she did to get through the day. The only time there was a break in her routine was when the mailman delivered an unexpected letter or catalogue. Even the days she did laundry, got groceries delivered, or had a visit from the minister who was assigned visition duties by her old church, were now down to a routine.

Exercise 2:
Ginny was a busy you career woman on the go. She had a wonderful career with a publishing company. She was engaged to a wonderful man. She and Stephen had been dating for two years, when on Christmas eve a few months ago he had proposed. Her world was bright and rosy. However, she had started to notice about six months after she moved into the building that the woman who lived across never left her apartment. Ever time Ginny left, or returned to the building during daytime hours she saw her there sitting in her window framed by the lacy curtains on the window. At night Ginny could hear the television or see it's flickering blue light in the window.

Over the years Ginny had often wondered if the woman ever left the building. At times, she thought about knocking on her door to just see what she could find out but she always changed her mind. What would she say any way if the woman did answer. "Oh, I was curious why you are always watching me when I leave the building during the day and so I decided to stop and tell you---what". It was here Ginny always stopped because she just could not think of a valid reason to be noisy. Then last week an idea came to her. Since it was almost Easter she would buy a pretty potted plant that bloomed and would deliver it to the woman.

Today was the day she had decided to stop. It was Good Friday and she hoped the woman was at home. Carefully she approached the door across the hall from her's and pushed the doorbell. She was about to push it again because there had been no answer, when the door opened. There in her wheelchair sat a lovely middle-aged woman with dark hair that was streaked with gray. Ginny's mouth almost dropped open but she quickly regained her composure. "I have seen you in the window almost every day for over two years now and I have never stopped by to introduce myself." Ginny stammered. "I thought it was about time I did so and to also give you these flowers to brighten your window."

"Thank you", the woman stated, "Won't you please come in and have a cup of tea. I was about to make myself one".

Day #6: Story-building Dialogue

Today's writing assignment is to write a scene in which dialogue of two or more characters moves the story forward in a distinct fashion. The author gives us a suggestion, but I choice to continue an earlier story (See Day #2).

Just then the telephone rang. “Hello, this is Christopher”, he answered.
“Hi, Chris this is your sister. Could you come home for a few days? Mom needs our help and support. Dad just died.”
“What do you mean just died. I didn’t even know he was sick. Was it a heart attack?”
“Well yes and no, his years of drinking weakened his heart and the doctor thinks it just quit working. Can you come home?”
Chris stood there holding the phone to his ear as his mind whirled. There was no love lost between him and his father, but yet he was his father. Chris also knew that his mother would need both him and his sister to support her emotionally through this time. Chris never really understood why but his mother still loved his dad in spite of all the hell the old man put her through.
“Sure, I’ll catch a flight out first thing tomorrow morning. Is there anything else you need from me now?”
“No, just come home.” With that his sister hung up and Chris stood there in his richly appointed living room with his mind racing.
As he sat back down on the living room sofa he tried to bring to mind an image of his father the last time he had seen him. Unbelievably he could not. All that would come to mind was his father’s angry red face the night that Chris had refused to give him the money he had earned mowing lawns.

Day #5 - Talking it Out

Today's meditation talks about talking out our story details to help work them out. It also suggests using a tape recorder to do this. Frankly I have been doing both. I have a Bible Study/series of skits that I have been working on for awhile. I talk each lesson/skit out on both a tape recorder and also with a trusted friend.
Under For Further Reflection: Fred White states "Spontaneity gos a long way, and by talking out your ideas, you are engaging your innate ability to generate story content spontaneously.. . . We can amze ourselves by how inventive we can be 'off the cuff'."
Writing assignment isn't really a writing assignment but to share you embryonic stor idea and encourage that person to ask questions or request elaboration or clarification. Keep pencil and paper handy!
The Bible Study I have been working on is about four different women from the Bible. These five women pressed forward past certain obstacles to be close to Jesus. The woman with an issue of blood pressed by religious taboos. Mary of Bethany pressed by cultural expectations and disapproval. The prostitute who annointed Jesus' feet with her tears at the Pharisee's house pressed by society's disapproval. The Samariatian woman at the well pressed by ethnic disapproval. Then it ends with question about what is keep you from pressing forward.

Day #4

On Literature
Assignment from Try This exercises: Compose a short autobiographical sketch in which you describe your experience with literature over the years.

From the time I learned to read I have been a rabid reader. From the ages of 10 to 13 I have read every book in the juvenile section of the small town where my grandparents lived. Most of the time if my mother wanted me for a chore she could not find me because I was off somewhere deeply engrossed in a book. I have never quite figured out why but as child and through most of my first thirty-five years of life I wanted to be someone other than who I was. Books allowed me to be someone else for a little while. It may have also been that in my childhood we did not have television. I was ten before my family purchased a television and by then Iwas already an avid reader. Also the selection of television shows really did not appeal to me.
As I got older, got married and had my daughter books continued to be escapes and it was not uncommon when I would find a particularly interest book and read it from cover to cover without stopping. Now I won't claim that all of those books were good classic literature. I'm not certain that a majority of them could even be considered literature. However, some were. I can even remember as a high school student coming across a section in the local library that contained college literature textbooks and reading those. It did not matter to me if they were English Literature or American Literature. I just enjoy the written word and stories. I can not remember a time when there were not a collection of books in my home.
It is difficult for me to name favorite authors because over the years my tastes have changed and I have read so many books it is impossible to pick just one favorite.
At times I get locked into a particular genre. For years when I first went back to college it was mysteries. Since I worked nighttimes on the weekend I went through them quickly. At one time I had read every mystery in that section of fictional literature at the Arab library. I also had many they did not have that I had been given by friends or bought.
The two thing that my husband says I have too many/much of is books and yarn. My current reading list includes Christian Literature both fiction and non-fiction. However, I do still go to the library and get certain classics from this genre. I also have started in recent years to read several books at one time. I am fairly certain that my love for stories will continue until I die. This is particularly true since the introduction of audio books. Before I take long trips now days I get several audio books to listen to as I drive/ride.
For me Barnes and Noble, Books-A-Million, Lifeway, and Family Christian Book Store are candy stores. I am usually not much of a shopper except when it comes to books and shoes. I still spend an average of one-three hours everyday reading. I currently have four new books ordered from my book club and usually order from four to ten books a month. When I finish reading them I take them to co-workers if they are fiction and donate or resale the non-fiction. If I did not do this there would not be room here in my writing/crafting room to sit or work.

Day #3

Decided that instead of following in the tracks of my writer acquantence I would just do the assignments for the days date, since this is a yearly meditation reading and writing tool.
So today's (9/4/2009) assignment is:
1. Every time you finish reading a novel, biography, work of history or current affairs, write a journal entry explaining how the book has changed your understanding of society. Won't do that today because have not recently finished any of these. Am currently reading three book; two are Bible studies and the third is sort of a biography. Will journal such an entry when I finish the biography. This is actual an autobiography of the writer below.
2. Research the life and times of one of your favorite authors; then, write as essay in which you reflect on the ways that author's works influenced his or her society. An obvious example would be Harriet Beecher Stowe. "So you're the little woman who wrote the book that started this great war," Abraham Lincoln supposedly said to the author of the antislavery novel, Uncle Tom's Cabin.
Ooh! This is a difficult one. Will have to think some about this and see what I can come up with. Will continue this in a bit.

Okay, that did not take as long as I thought it might. The author I decided to research and write about is my current favorite Debbie Macomber. Her writing has not really changed my understanding of society as much as it has inspired me.
The first thing I find inspirational is that when she decided to become a writer she did not have a High School degree, she was a stay at home mother with four small children. She also was dyslexic. On her kitchen table with a rented typewriter she began her five year struggle to get published. However, her hard work and determination paied off. I am currently reading her first non-fiction book which is an autobiography entitled Knit Together: Discovering God's Potential For Your Life check out my blog http://scowanbecoming.blogspot.com/. It is in this book she talks about how she became a writer and encourages other women to follow their dreams.
Debbie is best known for her ability to creat compelling, realistic characters that not only bring her books to life but also display her uncanny ability to see into the souls of women and to express their emotions, values, and concerns. They also display her sense of humor. Her books take place in small rural town and also areas in and around Seattle, Washington where she lives. Another aspect of her books that I like is that because of her strong Christian believes, she does not include overly explicit sexual details in her books and so they can be enjoyed by a wide range of women. They do contain some sensuality which is very well done.
It is my belief that one of the reasons her books have such a large following is that women of any age can read the books and find them meaninful and applicable to their own lifes. It is almost as if these characters in Debbie's books are friends of your's and you are reading a long letter or newsletter from a group of distant friends you have not seen in a long while.
Debbie's series about the knitting shop which began with The Shop on Blossom Street, is responsible for my renewed interest in knitting. It also prompted a desire to make some blankets for Project Linus, a non-profit organization that, through local chapters, provides blankets to children in the local area who have been traumatized or hospitalized for some reason. Her non-fiction book mentioned above and in one of my other blogs has, along with a book by Donna Paltrow, encouraged me to resume my writing. It also impresses me when I learn of Debbies own philanthropic endeavors. To me this helps me see that not only does she write a good story, but her stories are a reflection of her values that she then lives out in her personal life. To me she is a good role model for women of any age.
Not real certain about her effect on society. She has received a great deal of acclaim and won a number of prestigious awards. In both words and deeds she inspires women from all walks of life to realize their dreams. She encourage women to achieve the goals that burn in their hearts just as writing did in her own years ago. In lectures around the country she encourages women to excercise their success muscle. Like her heartwarming novels, her lectures are always filled with laughter and love. Debbie also volunteers her considerable talents to help raise money for pattered-women's shelters, literacy and medical research. In 1997 Big Brothers/Big Sisters of America appointed her an ambassadore for their national office. In support of that organization's outreach to young people, she travels throughout the US to inspire and encourage them to pursue their own dreams.

Day #2

Assignment: Write a story in which the viewpoint character lives out the complex associations derived from a single religious symbol.

Symbol: YinYang which is a buddish symbol that represents polar opposites, i.e., good/bad, day/night, rich/poor.

Story:
Christopher gazed out the window of his penthouse apartment as he leisurely relaxed on his rich leather sofa. His mind began to wander back over his life. He remembered the hurt and shame of being teased by the other children at school when he was seven. His family was dirt poor and bearly getting by. He and his sister often went to bed hunger and alone. His mother had to work two jobs just so they could scratch by. Usually as soon as she went to school their father would send them to bed so he could sneak out and go drink with his buddies. Chris couldn't remember a time when his mother had not work, or a time when his father held a job for longer than a week. He felt the bile rise up in his throat as he remembered the shame of being the son of the town drunk. Everyone back then had assumed that he would end up the same way. However, Christopher had been determined that he would not be like his father. Nor would he be like his mother who had to work lousy low paying jobs because she had not even finished high school.

A smile spread across his face as he remember the determination that had over taken him that day at age seven. That determination had carried him through all of his school days. His determination helped him ignore the teasing of other children. It had helped him work on building up his muscles so that when the other boys began to tease him and try to bully him, he had been able to fight back. The his determination to get a job and work to make money. His determination the day his father tried to take his money away from him to buy booze. Boy, he sure surprised the old man that day.

Next his memories carried him through his college days and later to his early days working for the law firm. He frown a little when he remembered some of the early crappy cases he had been handed because he was low man on the totem pole but those days were long over. He had made it to the top of the heap. No one handed him cases any more. Now days he selected the cases he wanted.

As he sat there enjoying the fruits of his labors, so to speak, he began to feel the old tightness in his chest. In spite of all his determination, all his efforts, all the accolades on his office wall, it always came back. That old sense of dread, of anxiety. He knew what it was now, but even after several years of working with a well respected and recognized psychiatrist, he still could not stop the feelings or get rid of them. That old sense that someone would find out that he was really deep down inside just a dirt poor kid from the wrong side of the tracks. The son of the town drunk.

Nothing ever helped him feel good enough, smart enough, wealthy enough to get away from the voice of his old man that said, "you're a worthless piece of crap, just like me." Even though his psychiatrist was trying to get him to listen to a new voice it just wasn't there. As someone had once told him, "Son, you'll never rise above your raisin'."

Day #1

Assignment: Write a short story in which the two principal characters are from different levels in the social hierarchy.

Story:
Emma was angry. She did not want to be at the meeting and she hoped she did not see anyone who knew here. "This is so damn unfair" she thought.
She had done a favor for a friend by holding an envelop for her. The friend had told her that the envelop contained something the person who gave Emma the envelop was returning. It turned out that what it held was marijuana. Now she had been kicked out of school. She had not been allowed to walk with her graduating class, which wasn't really a big deal to Emma.
"I don't care" she said to herself.
"I don't see that a high school diploma ever did anyone in my neighborhood any good, any way."
Now the judge not only ordered her to go through a treatment program, but the treatment program required her to attend these meetings. What made it worse was that she had to get a sheet of paper signed which meant the they would all know she was in treatment. They would know that she did not want to be there. Of course, anyone could have guessed that from her body language.
She had deliberately sat at the back of the room so hopefully know one would really notice her.

Ginny, was in a rush again as always. Her job at the publishing company meant that she had to rush to make it to an after work meeting. Ginny was a sober alcoholic with 12 years of sobriety. In that twelve years she had really cleaned up her act. She no longer called in to say that she couldn't make it to work, or would be late. She no longer arrived at work tired, with blood-shot eyes. None of her co-workers had complained of her smelling like alcohol. Because of all these things she had received several promotions and was not making a very good salary. She had a really nice condo in the good part of town. She just regreted that her mother couldn't see her now. Unfortunately, she died two years after Ginny got sober. Ginny was thankful that her mother got to see her sober. "Mom was so proud", Ginny thought. Ginny was also certain that her mother had been pleased that she did not die of alcoholism like her father had. Ginny climbed into her sleek little sports car and headed out of the parking garage. The meeting place was only five blocks away but Ginny knew if she walked she'd never make it in time.
When she arrived the only place left to sit was on that the back of the room with the newcomers. But at least she was there. Besides maybe she could say something that would help one of them.

Ginny found a seat next to an young girl that appeared very angry and clearly, from her body language, did not want to be there. The meeting was underway when she arrived and they had just finished the reguar readings and the chairperson was saying that the topic would be Step One. People, in turn, around the room began sharing. When it came around to the girl's turn she angerly whispered her name and that had to come. The Ginny shared about what her life had been like before she got sober. She shared that her life had been nothing like it was now. As she talked she notice that the girl began to really listen to what she was saying and her eyes opened wide and her express seemed to show her disbelief.

After the meeting Emma confronted this well dressed woman who said she had once been nearly homeless and lived in a lousy, roach infested apartment because that was all she could afford. The woman said she spent almost all of her money on alcohol and would spend every night in the bars. In the bars she would get men to buy her drinks by flirting with them and some nights she even allowed them to come home with her. Emma told her "that story wasn't true, there's no way you once did those things, look at you".

Ginny turned and looked at this anger girl; "Oh yes, honey every word is true. How I look now is due to being sober for twelve years."

"Oh come on, you haven't had a drink for twelve years", the girl asked?

"No, not one single drink in twelve years. Why do you find that so hard to believe"

"Well for one there is no way someone who is a real alcoholic could go that long without a drink. I know because my old man was an alcoholic and he never could stay sober for longer than three or four days."

"Look" Ginny told her, "I have been sober for twelve years. If you want to learn more about how I stay sober why don't you and I go next door to the dinner and have some coffee and a burger. I'll tell you all about it."

"I don't drink coffee." the girl spat out.

"A cola then, or whatever you prefer, they don't serve alcohol."

"You buying" the girl asked.

"Sure" Ginny said.

They headed out the door together. Two women who looked nothing alike. Who lived to completely opposite lives, and yet they had everything in common. The common bond of alcoholism.