Sep 23: "Know Thyself"

Today's meditation is on the subject of knowing yourself and how self-knowledge is of importance to a writer. The author says that having better self-knowledge should be a part of every writers' mission statement. In the section For Further Reflection he makes the comment that "Psychologists point out that merely acknowledging an impulse is a major step toward controlling it." This is something that I try to teach my clients that in order to change behavior we first have to acknowledge the impulse and then do something different with that impulse than we have been doing. Because of more than two decades in a 12-step recovery program I have had a chance to do some serious "soul searching" and because of my academic training for my current career plus continued additional training to keep my license and certification in learning about the workings of the human mind; I think I have more self-knowledge than most. Of course, my age is also a factor in having more self-knowledge. Once you pass the half century mark you tend to reflect on your life and it's lessons. Therefore, the "Try This" section takes some thinking time.

"THINGS I DON'T KNOW, OR KNOW VERY LITTLE, ABOUT MYSELF

This is another difficult assignment because I know myself pretty well. Using Fred White's questions I do know how I would perform in a stage play (very well as long as I did not have a lot of lines to memorized or have to sing). I have decided not to participate in an activity because I had no idea if I could hand the task. This is particularly true when it comes to volunteering to take part in a mission trip. However, that is really do to physical limitations, another gift of age. Usually though if something appears interesting to me I will attempt it at least once. I am aware of why I do, or do not attempt some things. I am also aware of why I think the way I do, why I act the way I do, of how I view the world. In fact right now I am having a very difficult time of thinking of any thing I don't know, or know very little, about myself. Some of what I know makes me feel good about myself; i.e. my loving, caring, and empathitic nature; my work ethic; my intuitive nature; my values; my political views; that I have my own beliefs and values and am not easily swayed by others. Other things I don't feel good about but am attempting with help to change. Somethings about myself that I have changed with help I also feel good about, but the desire to change came about because I got tired of making amends to people I did not really like in the first place. Another bit of information I have learned about myself is that I usually do not change a behavior unless I am sufficiently uncomfortable with the repeated consequences.

Over the years somethings that I have learned about myself have not been the easiest thing to swallow or admit. However, without acknowledging them I would not have been able to change them. It is a great comfort to realize that I can change the things I recognize are not traits that I want to continue exhibiting. Another benefit of a 12-step spiritual journey is that you do so much soul-searching and changing that ultimately the idea of change no longer is a frightening thing; it may just not be something you are willing to invest the time and effort into changing. Unfortunately, another truth I have learned about myself through years of soul-searching is that I can be stubborn and lazy about certain things, and so far have not had sufficient consequences to want to change these things about myself. I say "so far" because I know that I can change at any time. I may even realize tomorrow that there is a whole bunch of things about myself that I did not know. Since, to quote an old adage, more will always be revealed.